Please Stop

This message is for Lindsey Lohan (Yeah you, Lindsey...psycho stalker!) Please stop looking in my windows at night, you are scaring my cats. I am married as you well know, there is no future for us! If you don't stop going through our garbage, I will have to go through with the restraining order. And stop calling the office, you are going to get me fired. I never should have led you on by shaking your hand that first time we met. I apologize for this, I am sure you fill find the right man some day.