Please Stop

This message is for Lindsey Lohan (Yeah you, Lindsey...psycho stalker!) Please stop looking in my windows at night, you are scaring my cats. I am married as you well know, there is no future for us! If you don't stop going through our garbage, I will have to go through with the restraining order. And stop calling the office, you are going to get me fired. I never should have led you on by shaking your hand that first time we met. I apologize for this, I am sure you fill find the right man some day.

The Dukes of Hazzard Drinking Game

After watching the first 4 episodes of the Dukes of Hazzard Season One (Netflix rules), my wife and I came up with the Dukes of Hazzard Drinking Game.



Any time someone says one of the following words/phrases, take a drink!

"Moonshine"
Car chase banter (dubbed in humorous exchanges between Bo and Luke while being chased by the law).
A "Yeehaw" call (usually dubbed in somewhere during a fight or car chase).
Refrence to "Atlanta".
"Uncle Jesse....he's the patriarch."
"Bo and Luke Duke....they fight the system."
General Lee's "Dixie horn".

Any time you see one of the following, take two drinks (including the opening or closing credits)!

A police chase.
An airborne car.
A rolled over car.
A bow and arrow being shot.
Luke sliding over the hood of the General Lee.
Boss Hogg falling down.

Any time you see one of the following, down the rest of your drink!

Luke driving the General Lee.
Luke hooking up with a girl.

Feel free to share your own comments or experiences about this!

ENJOY!

Climbing

I climbed a pyramid today. When I got to the top, I slid down all five sides at once. It was surreal. It almost reminded me of the time I dug a hole in my basement. Not really, but it should have. At once I was alerted to the fact that my bus pass was expired. It took nearly ten minutes before I realized I didn't even have a proper hat to wear. It was actually the crumbling noises that kept me up that night. They should really do something about that cave, it makes people uncomfortable. I am definitely NOT going to attend the funeral. I didn't even know the guy before five years ago. Besides, I am still trying to get down from the roof.

Bored

Today is a boring Sunday.

Now Hiring?

We had to interview someone today. I hate doing interviews. On one level, I feel bad for these people who are looking for work and want to be empathetic, but on another level, hate having one hour to try and decide if you want to invest time and training into this person based on how they "sell" themselves.

I am surprised at some things after sitting on this side of the interview table. I always thought it was understood that when interviewing with a company, you basically tell them what they want to hear (being able to back up any claims about skills or abilities is always a plus) and exhibit enthusiasm and eagerness for the company and position desired.

The guy we interviewed today was very pleasant, but we wondered if he was going to fall asleep during the interview. He seemed not to have thought out answers to any questions we asked him beforehand (I mean come on, you have to contemplate what you might be asked in an interview and prepare yourself) and was very vague about the answers he did provide us. He just basically seemed bored.

Other recent interviews ranged from people making it clear that they had bigger and better plans than working on a Help Desk (which is understandable yet a little premature at this juncture), people who can't understand why a previous boss had a problem with their constant tardiness or wouldn't let them work from home (I myself did not have the pleasure of sitting in on this one), and people who basically answered our questions to the tune of not knowing much about anything we support (these people are sent to us from a consulting agency that is supposedly screening them beforehand mind you).

It just seems to me that a) most people are not as clever or resourceful as I had imagined, and b) most of the people we interview would be better suited (and more qualified) for network or system administration than 1st level phone support. Where are all the people out there who are at the beginning of their IT career looking for a way into a company on the ground floor? We seem to be getting over-qualified individuals who will obviously leave this position the first chance they get at a better one that they are more qualified for to begin with. And this has happened.

BOO!

I love scaring people....you know, startling some innocent fool. Anyway, I walked out of the building I work at tonight and waited around the entrance/exit for the parking garage under the building (I hadn't parked there myself this evening). I knew Andre would be pulling out soon since we parted ways in the hallway when he went down the elevator to the garage.

So I am standing there trying not to look conspicuous along the wall that blocked me from the garage entrance/exit, waiting for the annoying buzzer sound that alerts potential pedestrain casualties that someone is pulling out. He soon pulled out and stopped before entering the road so I ran up and started pounding on his passenger window. Then I chuckled at the look of surprise on his face and continued walking to my own car nearby (despite what Andre will tell you about the endless trek, it is only a half mile walk).

As I walked away, I thought to myself. Self, what if he would have gotten so startled that he gunned it into the street without checking to be sure it was clear (which it wasn't by the way)? I probably would have felt bad about that one.

Coke or Pepsi?

This evening, while eating dinner here at work with a friend and co-worker, Dragan, we started talking about the differences in the tastes of Coke and Pepsi. We were both drinking Coke at the time, so I decided to go get a can of each from the pop machine and some cups....I am sure you know where this is going.

Anyway, after conducting a few blind taste tests between us and a couple other people here at work, Andre and Dave, we were met with mixed results. At times each of us were right in our guesses and at other times we were wrong. Then Dragan suggested a startling theory. He noticed that when we drank the Pepsi first, then the Coke, we could tell the difference more times than not. But when we drank the Coke before the Pepsi, they tasted more similar. We further guessed that the Coke had a stronger caramel flavor that may be sticking in our mouths and thus masking the Pepsi's flavor, making it harder to differentiate. We then tested this some more, but one person here in particular, Dave, always guessed correctly. We figure this theory works on roughly 4 out of 5 people (I rounded up since it was 3 out of 4 for us).

Test this yourself and leave comments here with your findings! By no means cancel any plans of going out dancing or shopping at the mall for this experiment...just give it a try next time the conditions are conducive for a blind taste test. Please don't cancel any doctor's appointments or vacations on account of this, unless you need a good excuse to get out of something.

Espresso Anyone?

I am at work right now. Probably going to go make a triple espresso pretty soon. Not that I really feel like I need a wake-up, more like a ritual...something to look forward to during the day here. We have this Flavia machine here that you put little packets of coffee into and it fills your cup.

Well, I am not much of a coffee drinker. Regular coffee tastes like water to me. I think this started one time when I worked 3rd shift to cover someone's vacation. I really did need a wake-up. So I went in and found the strongest flavor of coffee there was, a level 5 (out of 5) called French Roast. I found that using the espresso setting (which seemed just to use less water), I could fit 3 of those suckers in my coffee mug.

Speaking of my coffee mug, it is slightly larger than your every day coffee mug and does not fit in the cup slot on the Flavia machine. I had to think on my feet for this one....I discovered that if I removed the grate at the bottom of the slot (where the dripping water drains), it created an extra inch or so of space. This was just enough room to get my mug in there. I always had a pretty keen mind for understanding physics.



Anyway, I could fit 3 espresso cycles in my mug. I am pretty used to the taste of coffee now, but at the time it was less than inviting. I loaded 7 packets of sugars and 5 creamers in there too. WOW what a jolt! (I still use this same recipe)

So I will probably, out of ritual mind you, go and make one of my triple espresso's pretty soon. It's either that or strip naked and run around the workplace slapping people on the backs of their heads until someone tackles and cuffs my ass. At least with making the triple espresso, I can still show my face around here afterwards.

Open Forum

Post some comments here, consider this entire weblog an open forum. Let me know what you think.

Defogged

Just bought a fog machine today for no real reason other than it sounded cool to have one. Got it home and hooked it all up, filled it with the fog liquid. It doesn't work. Now my plans of foggy fun and shenanigans for this evening are ruined. Have to return it tomorrow. Pain in the ass.

Desensitization

As a kid growing up in the 70's, I longed for the future's arrival. I was excited to see what new inventions, technologies, and ideas would arise. Times seemed simpler back then. I'm not sure if the world itself was any safer, but you didn't hear about every depressing detail about atrocities and suffering as much as we seem to today.

Today is the future from my 70's childhood. Personally, I think the media is out of control. Yes, it is sad that [insert number here] people were killed in [insert some country I will never see here] as I slept last night. I believe it is one thing to be informed, but the media is slowly and surely desensitizing us to world events. It's not that I disagree with knowledge sharing, however I feel that the media focuses too heavily on the sadness in this world, and not the happiness. From the world news to the national news, all the way down to the local news, all you hear about is suffering and sadness.

As I think back to my innocent childhood, the childhood where I couldn't wait to see what the new millennium had in store for me....I think I'd trade the new millennium and all its technology for a trip back to the 70's with my baseball mitt and a bat. I'm not saying I want to be an ostrich with my head buried in the sand, but a little less disturbing news coverage of the world 24/7 couldn't hurt.

One final note: I do enjoy learning and growing mentally as a person. I just think the media is doing a disservice to our culture along with extreme, in-your-face advertising of products and medicines, attempting to conform us all into all-consuming goats, wide-eyed and comatose, staring into a TV or computer screen watching our health and happiness deteriorate as we are brainwashed into thinking we need to ask out doctor about some new drug we don't even know what it is for. Yes, this outlook is a little bleak, and I probably don't necessarily think this to some degree. This is more like me venting....as I sit here staring into the computer screen looking at the words I type...... baaaaahh.

Hacking Nature

Halloween is my favorite holiday of the year. I really enjoy the Fall as well, but I'm torn. Summer is short enough in Ohio and the Winters last way too long. This is why my love for Halloween and Fall is short-lived, knowing that Winter is right around the corner.

Perhaps I could break the code of nature and reprogram a few things. First of all, I would extend Summer by bumping it up a little in the Spring. Spring can last a month at most, let's say in February. Because face it: everything after Christmas and New Years is a waste anyway as far as Winter goes. So February can kick off the Spring season. Then in March, Summer rides in. In October, Fall can start. Fall should go all the way through January (yes I left out Winter....this was intentional).

Well, time to start learning how to hack nature!

Welcome!

Hello and welcome to my weblog. I hope you enjoy your stay, feel free to share your comments. CKE